REVIEW
Cosmoball
Stars: 0.0
Written by Dzhanik Fayziev, Twister Murchison, Drew Row, Andrey Rubanov, and Anastasiya Safronova
Directed by Dzhanik Fayziev
Starring Evgeniy Mironov, Evgeniy Romantsov, Viktoriya Agalakova, Maria Lisovaya, and Ivan Ivanovich
Runtime: 115 minutes
Unrated, but contains scenes of violence and intense sci-fi action
Russian with English subtitles and English dub as special feature on discs
Now available on video on demand/digital, DVD and Blu-Ray
Well Go USA
The cosmos of live action/animated combined sci-fi fantasy movies that are fun for the whole family just got a surprise entry from Russia. Writer/director Dzhanik Fayziev seems to have taken the ball from Luc Besson's Valerian playbook for his new cinematic blast. Cosmoball uses all of the colours on the palette and is filled with enough action to make you and your kids wish that you could play soccer with a jetpack. That's basically what Cosmoball the sport looks like on screen. Imagine the population of the world was so caught up in their sports heroes that they didn't pay attention to the fact that Earth needs a real hero.
An intergalactic battle left Earth’s moon shattered in large chunks. Earth, on the other hand, is left intact yet entirely devastated, and everyone everywhere are desperately trying to survive, even after 20 years. Food is in vastly scarce supply and the power is only turned on for one hour every day, yet everyone prefers to waste it watching their favourite sport on TV.
Well... most everyone. Anton (Evgeniy Romantsov) doesn't care much for it. He's horribly accident prone but he holds the key to saving the world right in his genes. He can teleport though he doesn't know it yet. That skill makes him one of the only humans who can play the crazy game. Cosmoball is like Quidditch with the dial turned up to 11. Each game always shows humans against teams of other alien species, but what no one watching realizes is that the stakes are a lot higher than they seem to be. If they win, humankind will survive.
Here's the trailer: youtube.com/watch?v=qHQuPBBvFZM.
I'll admit that there were some elements of this CG wonder-spectacle that I didn't much care for. If it's a family movie, then why does one of the only female characters look like she's walking around naked? Even if she's an alien, it's not cool. The other main female character has a scene where she's playing Cosmoball and gets hit so hard that her uniform flies off of her, and she's left on the field in her underwear. One of the sportscasters comments on how she's in great shape. Really? Those are two hard strikes for this critic. It's way time for family movies like this to do better. This is why there are Zero stars for this otherwise delightful piece of colourful Russian cinematic confection.
