A different approach to parenting

Most parents wish an instruction manual came along with the birth of their child.

Unfortunately, that is wishful thinking. But there is help.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Programming – is both a group and one-on-one program that has been offered at the St. Albert Family Resource Centre for the past three years. The sessions are now expanding to include Triple P Parenting for Teens to the St. Albert & Sturgeon Primary Care Network in November.

Matthew Sanders and colleagues from the Parent and Family Support Centre at the University of Queensland designed Triple P in 1992.

The aim of the program is to prevent and treat behavioural and emotional problems in children and teenagers through the concepts of social learning, cognitive behavioural and developmental theory.

The goal is to also increase parental confidence and ability to deal with challenges by equipping them with the appropriate skills and strategies.

“Positive parenting … doesn’t take away discipline and it doesn’t take away correction,” says Marie-Anne Howard, parent coach at the city’s family resource centre.

“It wants parents to reframe things … by changing (your child’s) behaviours or changing the way you look at things as a parent.”

A common problem parents come to Howard with is that their child does not listen to them. Howard tells them to look deeper into the circumstances of their child’s behaviour as well as their own reaction to the situation.

“Depending on the child’s age and what has happened in the past, we look at causes of behaviour,” says Howard, explaining that a reason a child refuses to sit down at the supper table and eat is because they may be too young, or the parent is not sitting down with them.

Changing expectations, role modeling appropriate behaviour and making a plan are strategies that often come up at Triple P sessions.

“The reason parents struggle with behaviour or struggle with what to do is because they don’t know. They don’t go into parenting with a plan,” says Sheila Chisholm, a Triple P facilitator with St. Albert Public Schools.

If a child throws a tantrum in the grocery store, parents usually react one of two ways, says Chisholm. They either immediately take the child out of the store, or give them whatever they want.

Triple P teaches them how to be prepared for “high-risk behaviour” situations. Set ground rules before you go to the store or bring a play kit to keep your child busy. If it comes down to disciplinary action, that might involve a “time out”, “quiet time” or “planned ignoring,” explains Chisholm.

A large part of the program is based on self-regulation, she says. Kids learn to self-regulate behaviours and emotions, as do parents.

“What do you want to teach your child with a time out?” asks Chisholm.

The beauty of Triple P is that you can make it fit to your family, adds Howard. There are 16 strategies available and you can choose to use all of them or just one.

“Lots of parents have said, ‘A time out doesn’t work’ and I believe them when they say it’s not working,” says Howard.

“Every family is different, every situation is different and every child is very different. Use that time out strategy (but make) it fit your plan.”

Triple P was rolled out in schools by Alberta Education four years ago. Parent Link Centres across the province have been offering them since 2007.

Triple P also has special programs including Stepping Stones – for parents of children with a disability and Transitions – for parents going through separation or divorce.