If things have gone horribly wrong in your domestic relationship then help is close by to keep you safe. Stop Abuse in Families, also known as SAIF, is now celebrating its 25th anniversary on the scene.
Executive director Doreen Slessor says she is thankful her organization is still going strong, but that’s no cause for celebration.
“I wish we could have our vision and that there’s no abuse. We would love to work ourselves out of a job. I wish that I would never have to see family violence for another day in my life.”
But that’s unlikely to happen, and SAIF remains committed to its original purpose: to be there when it’s needed until it isn’t needed any more. “Our mandate from the very beginning was that all of our services are free to anybody who walks in the door. We stick to that commitment,” she said.
St. Albert had a population of 38,000 in 1988 when SAIF first arrived to help a growing number of its citizens – mainly women – to bear the fallout of bad relationships. Founder and former director Ireen Slater still remembers those early days, both the challenges of getting things off the ground and the circumstances that made the fight necessary.
Right after the St. Albert Interfaith Caring Council had launched the food bank, it had its eyes on tackling another tough social issue in the city.
“They wondered ‘Do we need something in St. Albert for family violence?’ I had spoken at a conference to a friend of mine who was an RCMP officer … and I said I would love to get something going. He said, ‘It’s right for it. It’s really needed,’” Slater said.
Necessity proved to be the mother of invention. She still remembers – and is still thankful for – all of the kind individuals and service groups that helped get things off the ground. She’s never forgotten each act of generosity, whether it came from a church group or a stranger or whether it was an offer of prime space on the top floor of the professional building overlooking the Sturgeon River for a more than reasonable rate or a free filing cabinet (“an orange filing cabinet”) from former mayor Richard Fowler or having local lawyer Herb Zechel take on the paperwork to register the Stop Abuse in Families Society.
She had a phone and a manual typewriter plus her desk from home.
“The Gazette put a picture in the paper [of me] standing in this basically empty office.”
Her first call was from a car dealership, offering assistance.
“Money!” Slater responded.
“Without the support of the community, we would not have survived,” Slessor elaborated further. “It amazes me that the resources come in when we need them. I always think ‘I know we’re on the right path’ because when we need something, someone shows up at the right time to help us out. Without the support of this amazing community, we could never do what we do.”
Thank goodness for that, she continued said, because her job isn’t getting any easier. Just the opposite is true, in fact.
“As we get involved with more members of a family, we realized how complex the issues of family violence are, how dysfunctional so much of it is, and how many community resources can be used up by one family,” Slessor explained.
As the world becomes more complex, SAIF grows in its abilities to tackle complicated domestic problems. Slessor said that the organization’s catalogue of programs and services includes referrals, assessments, clinical counselling, prevention and education for women, men, children and seniors. A single client might require the involvement of the police, the courts, children’s services, drug treatment, mental health professionals, the school system and more.
“We’re in everything now when it comes with anything to do family violence in the whole spectrum. Sometimes it’s just hard to co-ordinate who’s doing what and where and how and when. The issues are complex and there’s numerous agencies involved. There’s other dynamics. It’s usually not just our agency working alone with the family.”
If that wasn’t enough, all of its programs, whether for individuals or groups, are provided free of charge.
Because of this, SAIF relies on the generosity of the people, businesses and organizations within the community.
“I’ve seen ups and downs and growth as best we can that funding allows. Always, we wish we could do more or be more but our resources are limited.”
Slessor is thrilled to announce that SAIF’s primary fundraiser of the year, the Red Shoe Gala, once again has a major sponsor, this time with downtown boutique Modern Eyes Gallery and Gift Ltd.
It’s true that women are occasionally recognized as perpetrators of family violence and abuse, but statistically speaking, the brunt of the problem lies with men.
SAIF figures that the best way for men to realize what it’s like to walk in women’s shoes is for them to literally walk around in their shoes. For several years now, the agency has been hosting its Red Shoe Gala to give guys just that chance. With red pumps or high heels on, men get to enjoy a party atmosphere while getting first-hand – nay, first-foot – experience into what life is like for women.
The fifth annual Red Shoe Gala takes place next Friday, April 19 at the Italian Cultural Centre, just off of St. Albert Trail at 14230 133 Avenue in Edmonton. Cocktails start at 6:30 and the dinner gets served at 7 p.m. It’s a semi-formal event but red shoes are actually optional. SAIF is happy to provide pairs to the guys if they don’t have their own.
Tickets are $75 each. RSVP by calling the organization’s office or via e-mail at [email protected]. For tickets, visit saifredshoegala.eventbrite.ca.
For more information about the organization or to seek help, call SAIF directly at 780-460-2195 or visit its recently redesigned website at www.stopabuse.ca. The ‘safe’ site allows visitors to avoid detection by abusive partners by hitting the ‘escape’ button to go straight to Google’s homepage.
It also includes a ‘Cover Your Tracks’ page that provides other important information on how to protect yourself. “When an abusive partner discovers that the victim is obtaining resources, learning that domestic violence is wrong, threatening to leave or planning a getaway, the abuse can and most often does increase,” the page explains.
