Fewer Canadian women are having children. Statistics Canada data released last year indicted the total fertility rate in Canada was 1.61 children per woman in 2011, continuing a decline from 1.68 over the previous four years.
Rosanne Maitland is the Edmonton chapter leader of NO KIDDING!, an all-volunteer, non-profit social club for couples and singles 20 and over whom, for whatever reason, have never had children.
NO KIDDING! has chapters in Canada, the U.S. and New Zealand and was founded in Vancouver 30 years ago.
But why a social club for childfree adults? Maitland says it’s an avenue to connect with friends who have both a similar lifestyle and also time to socialize.
“We’ve all felt that the friends from say high school, once they started having children they just didn’t have time for you,” Maitland says. “They were raising their kids and bringing them to soccer practices, and they couldn’t go out because they didn’t have a babysitter. So they just didn’t have time for you in general.”
Maitland is also a member of Babes Without Babes, an Edmonton-based group for women 35 and older who do not have children and want to connect with other women living the same lifestyle.
One of the stereotypes about women who are childless by choice is that they don’t like little ones, but Maitland says that just isn’t true.
During one Babes Without Babes outing the group took in a comedy show.
“One of the comics learned that there was this Babes Without Babes group there and called us all a bunch of baby-haters and we all took offence to that, well not huge offence, but we were annoyed because we aren’t,” Maitland says. “We’re probably the best aunties out there.”
Maitland says that getting together with other childfree adults also provides a judgment-free setting in which to socialize.
“Any woman that doesn’t have children at a certain age already generally gets questions like, ‘Why don’t you have kids?’ or, ‘When are you having kids?’” says Maitland. “Even when you get past a certain age, they’re thinking you should still adopt. So it’s a setting where you don’t get asked those questions.”
While she says certainly not all parents condemn the decision of others to not have children, there are many who feel free to question the choice.
“Some people think that you’re financially selfish if you’re not (having children), or that if you’re educated you have a moral responsibility as an educated person to have kids,” Maitland says. “It’s interesting what we get told.”
She says many couples prefer to stay under the radar about their decision to be childfree.
“There’s still a little bit of stigma to being labeled as a childless couple.”
