Junior high school has never been an easy time for anyone, let alone for those with a non-heteronormative sexual or gender identity to contend with.
For gay and lesbian youth, St. Albert can be an even more difficult place to live as they come to terms with who they are, but now more than ever there are supports in place to make life a little easier.
Mia Soetaert, a Grade 10 student, wants other LGBT youth in this community to know she understands the kind of struggle they may be going through, including the mental-health challenges, and they don’t have to do it alone.
“There are just a bunch of people here willing to help,” she said. “I think reaching out is the biggest thing.”
She is one of the founders of Outloud, a St. Albert group for LGBT youth that meets twice a month. It is a place where gays and lesbians can share their experiences, and Soetaert said having such a group when she came out would have been a big help.
It was around Grade 4 she began to realize and express to her family there was something different about her, but struggled with depression, anxiety and self-harm until finally accepting she’s gay and telling her parents halfway through Grade 7.
“I was going through a huge depressive episode and that was the reason I eventually told them,” she said.
Soetaert’s parents were incredibly accepting and supportive of her, and took her to speak with a psychologist at Edmonton’s Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services (ISMSS) at the University of Alberta, which was a huge step forward for her. She also attended Camp Fyrefly, a leadership retreat for LGBT youth.
“My parents forced me to go to Camp Fyrefly. I was totally against that, and didn’t talk to them for a week,” she said, but she quickly realized she was wrong. “It’s the greatest experience I’ve ever had. I’m going again this year; it will be my fourth year.”
Her own experience has improved with the support available to her, but she knows it’s still a struggle for many LGBT youth in St. Albert.
Even at her high school, Bellerose Composite, there are elements of homophobia among students despite the overall atmosphere being accepting.
Soetaert said she has no concerns walking down the hallway holding hands with her girlfriend, for example, but knows boys who wouldn’t.
“When they did, they got a bunch of slurs thrown at them but I’ve never had that happen to me,” she said.
For Kris Wells, a longtime St. Albert resident and director of the ISMSS, the mental-health challenges facing LGBT youth are as significant today as they ever were.
The root of the problem is a society that, despite legislative, legal and social progress, is still one that can tend to marginalize sexual minority youth, or even hurt them.
“Hate crimes have remained high and consistent in the LGBT community,” he said. “Of all the hate crimes that are committed, they’re the most violent in nature. There are very real risks, still, for the sexual- and gender-minority community.”
It’s not just harm from others, but self-harm is a significant issue as well.
“For youth, the impacts are higher rates of drug and alcohol use, they’re more likely to drop out of school, less likely to participate or access community resources and supports, and sadly, they have two to three times higher suicide rates than their heterosexual peers,” Wells said.
He noted that while last Saturday’s inaugural Pride barbecue in St. Albert is a big step in the right direction for this community, there is a lot of work left to do and everyone has a role to play.
“Social change is about each one of us stepping up, stepping forward, and committing to build the kind of community that we want to have,” he said. “That doesn’t just happen on its own.”
