St. Albert schools are building better students to stop bullying before it starts.
Bullying Awareness Week in Canada is Nov. 16 to 22, and communities are encouraged to stand up to bullying through education and awareness.
Bullying is repetitive intentional negative actions that are targeted at a specific person or group, says Lisa Dixon-Wells, founder of the Alberta-based Dare to Care bullying awareness group.
"We all get nasty on occasion. That doesn't make it bullying." Likewise, some people act like jerks but don't have the social skills to realize it. It's when bad behaviour happens repeatedly and intentionally that it becomes bullying.
Dare to Care's research suggests that maybe 15 per cent of students are victims of bullying while two to six per cent are perpetrators of it.
Even though just two per cent of a school's population is made up of bullies, that two per cent has immense power to shift the dynamics of a school, Dixon-Wells says. Stopping bullying is about shifting the balance of power away from that two per cent and into the hands of everyone else.
Better kids stop bullies
St. Albert schools have come up with a host of strategies to rally their communities against bullies.
Vital Grandin's REACH initiative encourages students to behave in a way that is Respectful, Engaged, Accepting, Caring and Hardworking, for example, said principal Marina Lotoski.
"We 'reach' for the stars."
The goal here is to make people more open to talking about bullying so that staffers can spot and stop problem situations before they start, Lotoski said.
Teachers hold regular discussions in class about what each of the values in REACH means and have students role-play situations about them. Students who embody REACH values get entered in weekly and monthly draws for prizes.
The prizes and tickets are meant to keep the REACH values at the front of everyone's mind, Lotoski said.
"We're always reminding the students that this is what we stand for and these are the actions we expect."
The Girls In Real Life Situations group run at Sturgeon Heights aims to make girls more resilient against bullying, said vice-principal Jennifer Bruinsma. A similar group for boys is in the works.
The idea is to give young girls the tools they need to deal with bullying when it happens, she explains. Participants learn about anger, stress management, how to reach out for help and the qualities of a good friend.
Dare to Care worked with parents, teachers and students at Leo Nickerson Elementary last month to show them how to spot, prevent, and fight against bullying.
Two of the most important skills kids need to stop bullies are self-assertion and seeking help, Dixon-Wells says.
"Kids often think it's rude to tell somebody to stop, but there's nothing rude about that," she says.
She teaches kids to tell bullies to stop, firmly and calmly, a maximum of two times before walking away. Stick around after the second "stop," and you give the bully the chance to draw you into a prolonged confrontation, she explains.
"Asking for help takes skill and practice," Dixon-Wells notes – if you whine, the adults tune you out. Dare to Care has kids role-play situations where they have to ask for help so they can do so effectively when they need it.
Bullying is a social problem and has to be dealt with by a whole community, not just bullies and victims, Dixon-Wells says. You need the support of the student bystanders who witness bullying, the parents who can monitor the victims and the teachers who can discipline bullies.
"All stakeholders within a school community need to be moving together."
