Let me start with, F*ck … Purple Tiger … S*hit.
Let me try again, Crappy pants, penis. Blue balloons!
Most people think Tourette syndrome would look or sound something like the above, when in reality it can present in various forms of tics; — both vocal and motor — with co-occurring conditions in 90 per cent of people.
Those without the condition don’t realize tics are often the least of my troubles when I am managing anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and ADHD (to name a few) in my daily life. Out of all the symptoms that accompany my condition, it is the chronic loneliness that has nearly taken over my body. That was until I discovered how empowering it could be to share my story with others. Not just for myself, but also the community of people who may feel unseen for various reasons.
My silent story started as a child hiding in the shadows before I realized the power of telling it out loud. As a kid, I knew I was different from others. At that time, being different was what set me apart, and made me believe I was destined to do remarkable things with my life.
Some time around Grade 2, my relationship with how I viewed myself changed. Being different was no longer desirable. My goal was the path to “normalcy” at all costs. My Tourette's started with minor annoyances and compulsive desires to roll my eyes and blink uncontrollably. Later, stretching my neck and shrugging my shoulders turned into facial grimacing and hair twisting. The more my Tourette syndrome presented, the lonelier I felt. Having supportive friends and family couldn’t pull me out because I had yet to support myself. It wasn’t until I was courageous enough to tell my story publicly, that I reaped the benefits of that choice.
Listening to others share their stories about living with relatable experiences inspired me to share my story with others. In doing this, I managed to learn even more about myself while helping others embrace their authentic selves. I realized that every time I shared, I had the opportunity to make someone feel less alone in times when they would really need to feel a connection.
Everyone has a story, and someone needs to hear it. If not only for you, share it for those waiting on you, waiting on your bravery. I have been inspired by others taking the leap; they helped me take mine. I have seen first-hand the power of it and will continue to own my authentic struggles and wins, no matter how big or small.
I made it to the age of 26 without ever saying the words, “Don’t worry, it’s just Tourette syndrome” and sometimes I still struggle, but it has become easier every time. It has become easier because I share and continue to share my story. My challenge to you is to share yours, start the conversation, and then sit back and watch the power of your truth.
Chelsea Gouchey spent much of her childhood in St. Albert and is now a TESOL teacher, hospitality manager, speaker, writer, activist, and avid globetrotter.
