It’s the new year, a fresh start, and I have assigned myself small projects such as sorting the linen closet, thinning my clothing collection, and clearing off a cluttered countertop or two.
This morning I glanced over at my bookshelf and thought I must be able to cull from there. My eyes scanned the titles of my beloved Pregnancy Stories (I'm definitely finished with that chapter in my life); The Hidden Life of Trees (how can a book on this topic be so lacking in poeticism?); and then … Eckart Tolle.
I purchased his book in the early 2000s, no doubt after Tolle’s debut on the Oprah Winfrey Show. I recall being determined to read it, yet every time I sat down to do so, I found my eyes scanning the words and ultimately nothing registered. It was the reading equivalent of the famous Charlie Brown bits, where an adult drones on incomprehensibly: "Wah-wah Wah-wah."
Eventually, I surrendered and put it on my bookshelf unconquered. Over the years as I’d cull, I’d pick it up and flip it open to determine if I could discern any meaning and still, no luck. Yet, I was unable to pass it along. I believed it had value and I didn’t want to completely give up. It was a bit of a FOMO (fear of missing out), for sure.
So, this morning I hesitantly reached for it, bracing for the ego-busting experience of perceiving only gobbledygook followed by the discouraging moment where I must decide to release it to another more advanced reader, or set it back down for another future cull attempt.
I let the pages fall open randomly and read: “Recognize the ego for what it is: a collective dysfunction, the insanity of the mind.” Tolle continues: “You want peace. There is no one who does not want peace. Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict.”
Hello, Eckhart! Wow, I’m following.
I read on about all the attributes of the ego, which ultimately wants us to get caught up in a need to feel special; to stand out; to be in control; to have power, attention, and basically to experience a sense of separateness. The ego will never be satisfied for more than a micro-second and, attending to its continual demands dooms one to a lifetime of grasping for false security in an uncertain world.
So, what is Tolle’s solution for a fulfilling life? Well, he mentions that both the Buddha and Jesus encouraged us to “deny thyself” — meaning the insecure, petulant, and grasping self.
We are encouraged to settle into the stillness of the present moment and let the world’s "crazy" fall away. In the wonder and fullness of this present moment, time slows and life flows for us. We can observe with amusement the ego’s many attempts to win us back into the world of fear and lack.
If this sounds like irritating gobbledygook, I understand. Consider clipping out this column and tucking it into a drawer to revisit sometime in your future. In these challenging days, though, I do wish for us all to experience some freedom from the ego’s constant negativity, and an opportunity to feel the peace of life lived from this moment.
Jill Cunningham grew up in St. Albert, has a Bachelor of Education from University of Alberta, and is passionate about nature, the environment, and building community.
