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LETTER: COVID-19 is sure smart and sneaky – at least according to city council

By the way that municipalities have implemented the hodge-podge of these various mask bylaws, it is obvious that this coronavirus is the strangest virus we’ve ever come across.
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On Aug. 26, Angela Fields questioned all the exemptions for ‘Mandatory mask bylaw’ here in St. Albert ("Questions on mandatory mask exemptions," Aug. 26 Gazette). The answer is really quite simple.

By the way that municipalities have implemented the hodge-podge of these various mask bylaws, it is obvious that this coronavirus is the strangest virus we’ve ever come across.

It's very dangerous the way it spreads. It is so mysterious the way it lurks in schools but then dies at a Home Depot. It can wreak havoc in churches; praying people are exceptionally vulnerable! Although it's mind-boggling how it vanishes when people stand close together holding signs, destroying businesses, homes, property, monuments, etc., yet standing to watch a marathon or a hockey game triggers its wrath.

It is sneaky. It can spread when buying clothes at West Edmonton Mall but not at a Walmart. It is a non-alcoholic virus. It can't spread when you are buying beer. It lives for two days on Amazon boxes (you must wait 48 hours to touch them) but it can't survive on Tim Hortons coffee cups, so enjoying a hot cup of ‘joe' is safe.

It is the most curious thing, how it lives on basketballs, baseball bats and ballet barres, but dies on WWE ropes and Canadian Tire shopping carts. It is spread by hairstylists, dog groomers and dentists, but not by bank tellers, cashiers and fast-food workers. It's so smart. It won't bother the first 10 people but it knows when the 11th person shows up – so be careful if that's you.

It even knows what you want vs. what you need. If you want a massage or your nails done, it is very active on the prowl and not even a mask can stop it, but if you need a plumber, it is weak and a mask will keep it away. It also seems to be most dangerous after 5:30 p.m. so businesses must start to close before the virus comes out and wreaks havoc upon the populations.

Whoever heard of such a smart, sneaky virus?!?

Randy Kish, St. Albert




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