Re: ‘Sanctity of marriage must be protected,' Aug. 25 Gazette:
Some gays and lesbians do not wish their long-term relationship characterized as 'marriage' and there are in fact quite a few heterosexuals who don't either (for instance, there are more couples living together than choosing marriage in Quebec). These days, this is a less risky situation whether or not children are born into the relationship as the law offers protection to the more vulnerable partner as well as the children, without a civil or religious marriage or even a legal contract.
But Richard G. Nobert's insistence that the word 'marriage' be restricted to heterosexual unions has a tinge of malice. He also professes a prejudice against the right of homosexuals to parent children.
Marriage comes in many varieties and is not a magical word that somehow renders people morally superior. It neither indicates nor guarantees any such thing and is a popular perception only. But withholding this designation for gays and lesbians is an attempt to hold their permanent relationships as inferior, not 'blessed,' not viable, not authentic.
As for the right to have children, there are no credible studies indicating that children are at any disadvantage with two parents of the same sex. It depends on individual character, intelligence and maturity to exactly the same degree as heterosexual parents. It would be simply trite to expand on the fact that many of these latter-type parents have not always been, and will not be necessarily ideal.
Fifty percent of heterosexual marriages end in divorce, and with remarriage this often produces blended families with two sets of parents and biologically unrelated siblings with or without half-sisters and brothers. This can sometimes be problematic but also can be a better solution than subjecting children to constant rancour when divorce is ruled out for religious or other reasons.
People like Nobert have to get used to the idea that life is a little more subtle and complicated than they would like to acknowledge. For years, homosexuals were persecuted and marginalized by the state and often regarded as mentally ill or under the influence of Satan. There have been physical attacks and murders perpetrated even lately by individuals influenced by letters and opinions such as Nobert's, which seem reasonable and moderate but are nevertheless prejudiced.
Surely this is not justified for the sake of a mere word.
Doris Wrench Eisler, St. Albert
